Quantity Control

So most parents assume, incorrectly might I add, that they will save millions of dollars once their bundles of joy are potty trained. We were under the same foolish falicy. I envisioned a life of luxury, having both kidos out of diapers: lavish vacations, fancy cars, fine furs, imported cured meats. Almost one year later, not so much. The money you no longer spend on diapers goes to Mr. Charmin. Mr. Charmin? Toilet paper. It's true. Maddie & Jason both are in what the experts call "independent toileting" otherwise known as "how much toilet paper can I pull off the roll to use for this one 3-5 second event.

Trying to combat the depletion of the North American forests, I've been talking to M & J about "quantity control," you really only need 3 squares, that's what we've been shooting for.

Well today, it backfired. Kirk "spilled" on the floor today. So I quickly rush him out of the house, banish Maddie as she has Trav's sympathetic vomiting syndrome & start the clean up with the tissue I already grabbed. JASON! QUICK! I NEED MORE TP STAT! I'm doing my best at this point to keep my lunch down, Jason finally emerges with this:


That's right. 1 square of toilet paper. Quantity control. UGH!