Groupon Rocks

Colon hydrotherapy? Do these "practitioners" think we're morons? HELLO!?!? It's called an enema. But I still love me some groupon, I don't care what kinda crazy stuff they're always peddlin'.

My baby is growing up

Interesting?

I met a really, um lets see..."interesting" lady at the park today. Jason went to preschool with her little guy, so we weren't exactly strangers, but we're not bffs either. The conversation got weird. I mean "interesting" (I'm working on eliminating judgmental words from my vocabulary. She began telling me how canned soups have arsenic in them (really?), and how they give men man boobs (really??). And that her husband already kind of has man boobs, but he doesn't want any more.

It was weird. I mean interesting (and by "interesting" I really mean weird).

Maddie n Spock

bubble gum anyone?

Bubble gum has become quite an exciting item with M & J lately. Today they spotted a piece on the ground. After explaining why we shouldn't step on it, I was scooting Jason into the truck when he genuinely, sincerely asked if he could chew it. That's right, chew it. He asked to pick it up and chew it. He promised he would keep it in his mouth. While I was emphatically explaining why this would be a really really bad idea, I turn around to load Mads in just in time to swat the gum out of HER HAND RIGHT BEFORE SHE PUT IT IN HER MOUTH! I was just short of coming out of my skin screaming at her to PUT IT DOWN BEFORE SHE CONTRACTED HEPATITIS, TONISILITIS, OR DERMITIS! the other, more put together mothers just looked on unamused.

whew.

Whoa!

What's with State Farm taking "Cheers'"Theme song? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, hearing on the tv all the time now, but that melody is reserved for Sam, Diane, and the gang, I'm not crazy about state farm trying to get in on that. No bueno!

Again?!?!

So we're leaving church and I asked maddie what she learned about.
"Jesus" she studiously replied.
To that Jason added, "what book did you read?"
"the bible. Maddie proudly announced.
"again?!" Jason exclaimed!

Family bowling night

Phrases heard from our home...

Here are a few phrases heard from our home lately:

-as Maddie & I are walking out the door to Jason's teeball game, I hear Trav call to Jason, "Take the mustache off and leave it on the table..."

-Maddie: "Mommy, I have a booger here and I'm not going to eat it."
Jason: "Maddie, don't eat your boogers, they'll make you small."
Maddie: "No! They're Sweet!" (what being sweet has to do with not making you small, I'm not sure, I walked away after Madds started in on the booger bit, I just heard Jason's wisdom on my way to the kitchen).

Saturday Night Excitement

It doesn't get any wilder (is that a word?) or crazier than Saturday nights here at Casa Olson. That's right, it's party central. Not really. This Saturday night I spent time catching up on Up All Night, my new favorite show and playing Words with friends on commercials. It's really funny, that's why I chose to watch 3 episodes in a row instead of doing something wildish and crazish, well that and I have 2 children and my husband was rockin' the Weezer concert tonight. So here' to Chris & Reagan & Crew & why they're my new favorite tv characters:

6. Chris really likes the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, The Spin Doctors AND that Train song, "hey soul sista"
5. Ava doesn't have a flat stomach, no where even close
4. they remind me that I'm not the only one in the universe who has lost coolness since becoming parents
3. Reagan wears a girdle and 2 pairs of spanx. I don't actually have a girdle, but I did contemplate buying one, then I started wondering if they made girdles anymore. I guess so.
2. It reminds me of when my husband used to be a lawyer and I had an exciting tv producer job. Oh wait, I was never a tv producer and travis was never a lawyer, nevermind.
1. I guess it just makes our sometimes parental incompetence seem a little more normal. so if you sometimes find yourself experiencing the occasional parental incompetence, you should so watch this show.

Shout out to my Girls

I am a mess 97% of the time. I have to give mad props (that's super cool hip hop lingo for kudos or compliments) to my girls, my posse, my homies, I think you get the point. They keep me sane, grounded, always listen and laugh at my jokes. I heart you Girlies!

Mommy, why does Daddy drink so much?

*The following account is true. No names or events have been changed to save embarrassment. I am not making this up.

So Jason & I are on our way to school this week when Jason asks, "Mommy, why does Daddy drink so much?"

I alarmingly scan my mind to see what he could possibly be talking about. "What do you mean baby?"

"I mean, why does Daddy drink so much of that white creamy stuff that we use to make icing and ice cream?"

"OHHHHHH (an epiphany/sigh of relief), whipping cream? Daddy just likes it, that's all."

I guess the next time Trav uses whipping cream in his shake, I'll be a little more discreet when I get steamed up about it.

Family Photos

We had a surprisingly enjoyable family photos session, much unlike our Christmas pictures. It was November & we were in the studio & the photographer asks Trav to lay down on the floor. Travis matter of factly informed her he wasn't laying down on the floor. She then turns to me and says right in front of Trav - again, I'm not making this up - "Do you want him to lay down on the floor?" to which I confusingly replied, "Well, he just told you he wasn't going to lay down on the floor." She then matter a factly states "Well in some marriages, when the wife tells the husband to lay down, he does it." I replied, "Well, it doesn't work that way in our family." Our session didn't last too much longer after that.

This time Sara Slama was our photographer & if you're looking for someone good, she'll do the job.

Bragging. Just a little.

My baby is reading!!

My baby is reading, sniff, sniff.

DISCLAIMER: I'm typically a pretty humble person, I don't like to brag, I think it's kind of tacky, (except, here, I did, but I was really proud and excited). That's one reason why I'm not coo coo for cocoa puffs over facebook, well, one of 17 reasons really, but most the time it just seems like a forum for bragging, well from what I know anyway. Like the whole "checking in" thing. That's not boastful? "look at me, I'm fancy" "Checked in at the Hilton, Las Vegas" or "Checked in at Spa Obnoxious" or "Checked in on the moon" does anybody's ever say like "checked in at Hair Removal Clinic" or "Checked in at Free Clinic" or "Checked in at Big Lots" ( I could really keep going here, but I won't) How do I know? You, facebookees, might snarl, well when I go to these places my facebook addicted friends have to check in and most of the time when we go to the Dallas county Parole Office, they're not reachin' for the phone! Anyway, I am joining the crowd, so if you don't want to hear me brag about my first born, my sweet baby boy, who's really not a baby anymore at 48 pounds, 48 inches, 99 percentile for 5 year-olds, about to start kindergarten and is reading, well, I completely understand. Just don't unload about me on your blog :)


Back to my bragging: Jason is reading!















sniff, sniff

Rangers Game